Ethel Letch - shown on the left during a recent book launch at Chipping Norton - has recently finished her latest work, entitled 'A Magnificent Festering'. This novel, Miss Letch's seventh to date, continues the story of plucky, daring, eighty-something heroine Daphne Sporran.
Described by some as a writer of unparalleled genius, but by everybody else as a pointless waste of space, Letch has spent several years working on the book, writing one chapter at a time for greater safety. At a recent book signing, Letch was asked if she felt she deserved to be using up the earth's oxygen resources. Letch replied that she didn't understand the question, but was very hungry and wanted to sign some more books.

The proceedings were finally closed by the police.

---

Extracts from the book:

"Her thighs rode magnificently"

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"

"'Oh Rupert!,' she uttered, overcome with jelly"

"Once upon a time"

"'3s6d a yard', replied the constable. 'And a tin of tartan paint, please.'"